I guess I’m some sort of anomaly. Yes, I’m a heterosexual woman and I care DEEPLY about LGBT issues. I’m not an armchair activist. I’m a vocal one and I’m willing to debate with anyone (who can be constructive) about the importance of recognizing and combatting heteronormativity.

Awhile back, I took on a writer on Clutch Magazine that wrote an ignorant article on women practicing homosexuality on the down low. First of all, if you’re familiar with any of my work, you know that I absolutely CANNOT STAND down low discourse. It has yet to produce a productive conversation surrounding sexuality and if anything serves as another indicator of people’s true fears surrounding homosexuality.

Tipping my hat to Clutch, they are one of the top online magazines for young black women on the web. Thus, I found it unacceptable that they would publish such a low standard of intellect and decided to take a risk (of potentially being black listed from ever writing for them lol) and wrote a critique on the writer and the responsibility that Clutch owes to its readers to publish substantive articles. Immediately, the Editor in Chief responded with a polite thank you for my public response. I still wasn’t sure how she felt about it though. It was clear that her readers were very upset about the “Down Low Sista” article and I’m sure she was simply trying to (wo)man the damage.

Approximately, a week or two later, I received a message from her thanking me more extensively for my critique, citing the publication of the article as a gross oversight, and inviting me to pen some stronger sexuality pieces for Clutch. I was flattered by her humility and invitation. We all need to do a better job of recognizing prejudice and creating discourse that combats it instead of reinforcing stereotypes.

I just had my first article published on Clutch entitled, “The Evolution of Homophobia: It’s Not About Hating Gay People.” I always love when commenters leave their constructive opinions, especially when they disagree. I encourage everyone to give the article a read and join the conversation. I’m impressed with the feedback thus far and look forward to Clutch continuing this discussion through more articles that pull on the importance of tolerance and sexuality.

Here is a teaser of the article below:

“Silence itself—the things one declines to say, or is forbidden to name, the discretion that is required between speakers is…an element that functions alongside the things said…There is no binary division to be made between what one says and what one does not say; we must try to determine the different ways of not saying such things.”Michel Foucault, History of Sexuality Vol. 1

Considering the height of contemporary social activism, the threat of a “post-racial” declaration before actual attainment, and the ongoing struggle with homosexuality in the United States, now is the perfect time to start discussing the “silences” of prejudice.  Clearly, we have seen manifestations of racism in the last few months that go beyond atrocious acts of racially derogatory name-calling and physical harm.  It is the ingrained social politics of discrimination that continue to prevent this country from sprinting toward a progressive nationhood and, eventually, social equality.

Professor Melissa Harris-Lacewell made a comment on MSNBC that caused me to truly reflect on the definition of racism, sexism, and homophobia.  She stated that we, as minorities, as women, as LGBT supporters, have not done a good enough job at explaining the evolution of these terms for our fellow Americans.  The majority of the country still is operating under old definitions, e.g., racism as spewing the n-word, sexism as being intentionally unfair to women, and homophobia as hating “gay” people.  As society progresses, the forms of prejudice will continue to change and evolve.  Unfortunately, the discriminatory ideologies surrounding these social issues are deeply embedded in our psyches, often causing us not to realize our individual participation in their perpetuation.

Over the last few months I’ve written, filmed, and read commentary, about controversial LGBT topics. I’ve encountered and combated a lot of anti-LGBT discourse that likely was not intended to be anti-LGBT.  A profound example of a popular anti-LGBT topic that I believe was not intended to be anti-LGBT, is the salacious “down low” phenomenon.  Time and time again I hear the same response from the authors and similarly minded commentators on these articles:

“I’m not homophobic.”

“I don’t hate gay people.”

“I love gay people.”

Really?  Are you sure about that?  I’d have to disagree—and I’d encourage you to hear me out.

It’s not about “hating gay people.”  That is a simple manifestation of homophobia.  I’m interested in what’s under the cornbread.  Let’s talk about the things that people don’t want to say, especially within the Black community, and the silences surrounding the discomfort of homosexuality.  Let’s talk about Black women in heterosexual relationships who freak when their male partners convey homosexual desires (it’s happened to me and, yes, I reacted the same way).  Let’s talk about the disgust and contorted faces that occur when we see a gay couple kissing.  Let’s simply admit that the majority of the Black community believes that heterosexuality is the norm, and that it is superior to any form of homosexual relations.

Read the rest here